What can we say when sorry isn’t enough?
This is a burning question for me right now. “Sorry” falls dead after one too many times. Not too long ago I was reflecting with my mentor that I find myself apologizing more and more for many different things.
I chalk this up to three things:
- I’m more conscious of how my actions affect others (note: in hindsight) and recognize the need for an apology
- I’m more open; often times I don’t apologize due to awkwardness or feeling that it is “not the right time”
- My less lovable characteristics are causing more and more reasons for me to provide apologies
For example: it’s 9:00. I have my own room, now that my brother moved out. I don’t have any set “lights out” time. I’m a legal adult. And when one of my parents abruptly tells me to head to my room I cop out. Tell him it’s not fair. Storm off. And by the time I’ve made it down the hall and shut my door, I’m already overwhelmed with guilt. Why did I just do that?
I recognize that my behavior was wrong. But do I apologize? Surely I wasn’t entirely to blame…and its already said and done….and….
But I open my door, walk down the hall and say “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did just then.” Turn around and walk away.
But what do you do, what do you say, when this happens repeatedly? I know – for the most part – what problems I have, what I need to be careful of. But far too often I can’t see these character flaws in the works. Only after the fact.
So reader, this post wasn’t supposed to educate you in any way or follow a theme I’ve set. Because I’m wandering just as much or more as you are. I’m asking the same questions and wondering the same things. So….at least you aren’t alone in this.
We are never alone in this. And I’ll be praying for less occasions to apologize. Praying for guidance. Praying for forgiveness from those I’ve hurt.
Are apologies made in hindsight worth anything?
Yours in Christ,
The Wednesday Witness